The Uncertainty Principle of Existence

Life is a movement from beginning to end. While the beginning marks the entry into the world, the end puts a full stop to any further movement unless we agree with the Hindu theory of reincarnation. For the non-Hindus the final entry is the tomb while for the Hindus it will be the womb. The Uncertainty principle which asserts that the position and momentum of a particle cannot be simultaneously measured with arbitrarily high precision enshrines a level of fuzziness in our existence. We can never predict at any given point where we will be nor can we accurately say how we will behave or what our nature will be at that moment. As one grows older and is venerated as a Senior Citizen, s/he wonders how far one will travel in this phase and how will one face the changes that senior citizenship shall bring to his/her declining physical and mental levels.

I dread walking into a Senior Citizens Home though it is better to be care of the “S.C.Home” than remain a nuisance at home to the active and busy younger members of one’s family. I am thinking of people like me who have not become physically decrepit and mentally bankrupt and can still keep pace with all the daily chores that had become a habit with most of us. The problem that our group of 70+ experience is of a different kind. Born in a middle class family of the 1940s in Tamilnadu, where to have a cook or a servant was a luxury, we have been trained to be hardy and tough. For nearly five decades- if not more-doing one’s own work was never considered demeaning and debasing. One enlarged on the trained domestic skills with acquired competence to drive, to work with modern gadgets, to carry out responsibilities that any job outside of home demanded. We were always energetic and felt embarrassed to admit that we were tired or weak. Getting up before the sun rose and going to bed after the moon had completed 50% of her night drive, we never complained of lack of sleep. This was the pre-X/Y/Z generations.

At 70+ we want to carry on as before and here we come into conflict with the younger generation whose outlook on work and well being has changed. This is really the generational shift that no one talks about. The new generation is also hardworking engaged more in mental exertion than physical strain. The younger people work for hours at their desk subjecting themselves to severe stress to meet deadlines- both imaginary and imposed. They are mentally fatigued and return home slumped and exhausted. They go gym-ming over the weekends- more of a fad and that too compulsorily cultivated. They look upon household chores as a daily drudgery to be done by servants, cooks and drivers.  The daily grind -to attend to all details at home, to do one’s own shopping as mundane as vegetable and grocery, to drive your own car,  to pick from and to drop the lids at school –used to fill us with pride because we had the time and we had the great sense of wholesome  participation in matters strictly personal. We never asked for recognition nor ever received any but the joy and satisfaction of doing one’s home duties were adequate rewards.  We went to bed, exhausted but with a smile unlike the present generation who retire to bed with a stress and a smirk.

The younger generation finds the presence of the oldies irksome. Not that they do not like them but they feel the elders are debasing themselves at their age by doing things that should be left to the hired employees. “You have no sense of pride that your son is the VP of a multi- national and you want to slog like a servant. You want to show me in poor light to the world as a callous son and that will be the talk of the town” How can you argue that I love driving, I love cooking, I love shopping for the kitchen, I love watering the plants etc etc” Their pride is only in working for million dollar profit for the American company and how can they understand the earlier era’s  “ little, unremembered acts of kindness  love and pleasure.”

Again as old people( Senior Citizens-for the sake of respectability), we are in a perpetual dilemma.  Some of us have been teachers and have spent our lifetime with young adults. The generational change does not affect us. We continue to be young at heart. Though brought up on classical music and dance with a defined and developed taste for classical aesthetics, we do not lack in appreciation of the modern Rap and rock varieties. We may not be knowledgeable, but we can shake a leg (if we had not undergone knee transplants) to the new musical beats that are far removed from classical Western or Carnatic or Hindustani music.  We may not go for a Rockstar’s show but when we see it on the TV screens and enjoy the music, the youngsters feel highly embarrassed especially when their young friends see us tapping to the music.. They would like us to see the Ramayan and the Mahbharat serials( which no doubt, we do see) than beat a rhythm with them. We are branded as senior citizens only fit for bhajans and satsangs.

The third tectonic shift that has taken place among generations is in the sartorial get up. Senior Citizens should be prim and proper; capris or shorts or ¾ pants are taboo for men;  skirts, tights, leggings, shorts, capris not for women. The youngsters mindful of their social status want to present us in our old attires. No question of indulging in anything other than formal dresses to preserve the old world values.  We have to be presented as though we were born apparelled in suits and sarees.

Our children- now grown big to have their own children feel that we will be happy if we stay with our age group, preferably in a senior citizens home, repeat stale jokes of yesteryears, indulge in nostalgia about what it was to be alive in those days and laugh vigorously as though we were watching the comedy show of the gone by eras. But the most damaging generational change we notice is when the present generation has no appreciation for the accumulated wisdom of the ages that we carry on our drooping shoulders. “You know nothing of the present age. Please don’t spill these words in front of my friends.”

Where do we go?  To Senior Citizens  home and hang around with oldies like us till death does part us  or stay to enjoy the new age life and culture, music and dance in the company of our youngsters who have come of age.  The crux of the argument is we are appreciated if we stay true to the age we belonged to and we are depreciated if we dare to change with the times. The Uncertainty Principle is we do not know where we are headed to and what should be our nature.