Har har Kovind nee Modi nee Mahadev

                                                             Har Har Kovind nee Modi nee Mahadev

 The country is currently agog with new prayers in obeisance to the Prime Minister, something that had not happened to any other Prime Minister in the last seven decades. Millions of minions in the ruling party, carefully nurtured and trained to sing paeans to the PM, have started a new chant Har Har Modi similar to the traditional chant Har Har Mahadev. But under Shah-Modi duo, the new chant, has changed to  Har Har Kovind has emerged and that too, even before our hon’ble President Pranab da has begun his packing.

Mahadev on the Kailash Mount had mountimg anger to the point of  opening his third eye and punishing all the culprits who had changed their chant and substituted Modi for MahaDev and had  gone further to substitute Modi chant by Kovind chant. What angered Mahadev most was this name Kovind  was similar to Govind, the 187th and the 539th name of Lord Vishnu, his Vaishnavite counterpart in Vishnu Sahasranama. Govind is regarded as the poorna avatar or the complete incarnation of Lord Vishnu whom the Vaishnavites regard as the Supreme God.

Mahadev sent for Narad and asked him to find out why the Indians -nay, the Hindus behaved like chameleons and changed their loyalty so frequently.  He permitted him to charter the Pushpak Viman, the ancient Indian flying machine and fly to Hindustan (Narad corrected him saying, “My lord, it is now Bharat”) and bring back the FIR.  “FIR against whom”, asked Narad sotto voce. Mahadev was irritated and snapped: “First Information Report, for me and not against anyone..”

Narad piloted the Viman to alight in Ahmedabad to find out who Modi was and why they were chanting his name Har Har Modi. Someone suggested that he should look up the dictionary of Indian names to learn about the name Modi. Promptly he googled the name Modi and learnt that the name  Modi  meant one who possessed a clever, original  and independent mind,  one with large ambition and intolerant of those who set their goal at a low level, one with leadership ability and would  never be happy in a subservient position, who was aggressive in nature and did not allow others any freedom,  one who was charming to those who mattered, self confident, narcissistic,   loved travel and personal appearance, one committed to ensure neatness and cleanliness,  one known for caustic expressions and moods and above all one who was a stress inducer to all those around him.

Narad was told to fly to Delhi to meet with Modi or his acolytes.  He was also advised to read Quora Digest so that he could learn more about Modi and why people chanted his name. He swiftly glanced through QD and was convinced about Modi as an avatar purush ho had  come into the world to destroy all evil doers and corrupt sinners .He was  hailed as the man Nostrodamus had predicted to rule the world. People hailed him as the new Messiah and cried loud Har Har Modi. Narad knew that  Shiva would be pleased that this man Modi was like him, a destroyer of all filth and dirt, evil and black money. Narad was able to recognize in Modi the physical manifestation of Shiva proclaiming to free Bharat from Congress that was allegedly  synonymous with  evil and corruption. Har Har Mahadev (Everyone loves Shiva) was thus changed into Har Har Modi. Narad knew that Shiva would be pleased that Modi was like him a destroyer who had vowed to carry out his mission of rooting out all that is rotten in the state of Bharat.

But before Narad could board the Viman to return to Mount Kailsh, he heard the new chant Har Har Kovind.  He was puzzled and was keen to know about this new divinity, Kovind. He dared not reach Shiva who might open his third eye and consume him in anger if he spoke about Govind, the incarnation of Vishnu. Narad dared not bring about a rift between Vishnu and Shiva in the present context of  Mahadev having  to yield his place to Govind,  though as Narad he was known to engineer such conflicts among the Celestial gods and enjoy their discomfiture. But not now, as the clash between the Preserver(Vishnu) and the Destroyer(Shiva) would be disastrous , a total  annihilation of the universe.

Narad decided to make discreet inquiries about this Kovind. He met someone who towered like a Shahenshah and who clarified that this Kovind was not Govind, but a Dalit who belonged to the lowest and oppressed caste in the Hindu varna system- the fifth caste or the panchnama- and who originally belonged to the group of the sons of soil ,  who were forced to carry filth and dirt on their heads  and make the land clean for the rest of the higher castes. Narad’s mercurial mind was reminded of Lord Shiva who once assumed the role of a labourer and carried mud on his head to earn for his living. He remembered that Shiva in Tamilnadu was called Pittukku Mann Sumandavar. The Shiva story goes like this:

There was a temple to be constructed. At the time of construction, the king decreed that every household shall send one man to work on the temple’s construction. An old lady of the village, with no male relatives requested a vagabond known to her to serve in her honor in exchange for a sweet dish called Puttu. The vagabond was actually Lord Shiva in disguise, who reluctantly accepted the offer. At the construction site of the Prakara, Lord Shiva sang and danced without working and irritated the constuction supervisor , he whipped Lord shiva on his back, an infliction of pain that was felt immediately by all people in the world and left the mark of spine on the backs of humanity. Henceforth , the supervisor and the king realised the folly and begged his forgiveness.

Narad got into the Pushpak Viman  to fly to Mount Kailash and present  the FIR . He knew Shiva would be pleased to find Kovind who came from a family of people who labored very much like him and give his blessings to become the First Person of Bharat. But lo! Before he stepped into the Viman, he got a  message on his spacenet that the Opposition had nominated a dalit lady for the president’s post to challenge Kovind. The name was Meira. He knew that something wasnot right, and diverted the Viman to Parvati’s residence to seek her advice. Parvati was never a gender bender and was disturbed by the sudden onset of gender conflict. She phoned Lord Vishnu for his opinion on the new development. The omniscient Vishnu laughed and said why all this fuss and bother when the original Meera had merged with Govind long time back. So it matters little whether it is Kovind or Meira as it will be one and the same belonging to the same caste.

Narad heaved a sigh of relief as Parvati conveyed Vishnu’s shrewd reply, Narad is now on his way to Mount Kailash to present the FIR to cool Shiva and ensure that the icy mountain does not melt in Shiva’s anger.