Delhi’s weather does not keep up to date. The Meterological department’s
forecasts often go awry. But the best
barometer of weather change is the seasonal illness that besieges Delhi with a
clock work precision. Gastroenteritis and typhoid herald the onset of summer. If it is dengue, chickenguniya and malaria, it
is monsoon season. If it is flu, it is the transition period from summer to
autumn(through monsoon) or winter to
summer. Hence it is prudent to get a flu shot annually and it is best to take
it before the rains arrive. The vaccine, priced rather high, is available in a
few private hospitals but seldom in a government hospital. Since this vaccine
is kept in deep freeze, it is advisable to buy it wrapped in ice and take it straight
to the OPD/ Emergency services of the hospital and get the shot before the
vaccine loses its potency. To ensure there is no malpractice (like buying it
off the counter and selling it at exorbitant price outside, the vaccine being a
scarce commodity) the hospital needs the doctor’s prescription, before
administering the shot.
I was asked to get it from the chief physician of a private hospital who
has his consulting room in the ICU where he is always hemmed in by scores of
relatives whose family members are patients in ICU. I was nervous as my case was
nothing so life threatening to disturb an overworked doctor, but I had to get
his endorsement before going to the OPD for the shot. It is easier to get the
permission of Nandi( the bull, the gate
guardian of Lord Shiva) and meet the Lord than get past the sentry at the ICU
door. When I reeled off my health selfie
in response to the sentry’s one hundred questions, I detected a Eureka flash on
his face when he discovered that I was neither a patient nor an anxious relative to trouble
his ‘saheb’ but a seeker of his signature on the OPD form to get my flu shot.
He went in and came back in a jiffy and grinned: “Andhar chalo, Der muth karo:(Go
in and don’t take too much of the doctor’s time). I walked in gingerly, a
little awkward to disturb a top physician for as trivial a thing as a
signature. The chief physician was far from intimidating as I had feared. Contrary
to the picture the sentry had drawn of the doctor looking irritated, harassed,
impatient and churly, he had a gracious smile, putting me at ease. He signed after I
told him that I had come only for his signature and added that my family
members and I had been fortunate in being spared a hospital admission all these
years. In the same breath, I wistfully added who knows, we may run out of luck in
the future, as we were all advancing in years. He smiled and though much
younger in age, he wisely said: “Challenge”. I could not understand what he
meant by that word. Sensing my confused
and vague look, he said “ Yes, madam, just
keep challenging yourself ever so slightly- both mentally and
physically- and you may, god willing, not have any need
for hospitalization in future also .
I felt reassured that all is
well with me and I need not unnecessarily worry about old age illness and
hospitalization if I followed his advice. “Keep challenging ever so slightly”- these words
echoed through my mind and I recalled Robert Browning’s famous line “A man’s
reach should exceed his grasp, Or what’s a heaven for?” Just stretch, maybe just
a micrometre everyday to remain shipshape physically and mentally. Challenges
are an indisputable part of life. The greatest challenge is the challenge of
illness and death. Here the challenge is not challenging another but challenging
oneself and finding the inner strength to cope with the decline that comes with
age.
We age, we grow old. That is an irrevocable truth. Age like price rise,
can only go up and not come down. This is again an unchallenging fact of
life. No use fearing it or feeling anxious about it. Billy Graham said: “Old age may have its limitations and challenges, but in
spite of them, our latter years can be some of the most rewarding and
fulfilling of our lives”. One may sneer at Graham’s optimism, but the truth is
age brings with it experience; age teaches us many lessons and age expects us
to learn from them. Graham’s words are not meant to flatter grey heads but they
speak the truth that life is fulfilling if we practice what age has taught us. Then we need not fear growing
old. Once more I go back to Browning who said “Grow old with me. The best is
yet to be”
I suddenly had my Eureka moment when I felt I was no longer
afraid of old age. “Keep challenging” is more vital in old age than in our
younger days. I felt the need to challenge death which is the end point of old
age. I realized that life is nothing but
a journey to reach where we started from. The end is the beginning of a new
life just as the beginning is the end of a life past. These are my words to millions of sons and daughters) who fear
the day of separation as their parents hair turns greyer every day, their ears hard
of hearing, their eyesight dimmer and
their limbs stiffer and threatening to
go on strike.
My dearest ...,
I write this letter with a strong affirmation that I am
fighting fit and the letter is not meant as some kind of premonition within
me. I write this not to frighten you or even
to counsel you but only to fortify you as my day of reckoning may not be too
far(who knows, they may be far too far)
You were not born to
rejoice when I came into the world and therefore you don’t have to mourn when I
depart. We do not know where we will go, just as we do not know where we came
from. But we were brought together in this life and that too, without our
knowledge and without our consent. This is what we call Rinanubandha. Sai Baba whom many of us revere and worship defines Rinanubandha as the relationship that exists
between all living beings on earth and which is the root cause behind all our
physical and emotional bondages. It is indeed strange that we meet and come
close to people who neither belong to our family nor connected with the place
or region or even nation we belong to. But we have been told from our early days that
whomsoever we meet in this life is in some way linked to us from our previous
lives about which we remain ignorant. Sai Baba said more than a hundred years ago: “
Treat everyone we meet in a caring and loving way as everyone of us is tied to
every other being, all emanating from universal
oneness.” Death is not the end; it is the beginning of a new phase of life.
When my mother died and we went to the sea to immerse her ashes collected and
wrapped in a towel, we noticed how in the blink of an eye, the towel travelled
far across the sea beyond our sight as though the departed soul was in a great
hurry to shake off all ties of this life. The beggar sitting on the shore mused:
“Your Amma has fled. Go home and don’t cry as she has no intention of
returning.”I was struck by the wisdom of his words. The mother who was so dear
to us had opted to move out and no one on earth knows where she has gone. As
for her, she will not remember all those she had left behind. It is foolish to
cry and pine for the restoration of all sundered ties as death marks the end of
the old and the beginning of a new tie.
But strangely, in some way, in some unexpected manner, on some day we
may come across a stranger with whom we strike an instant rapport. This is how Rinanubandha works. It is not
necessary to correlate the new bond with the past. Human bonding is spontaneous
and does not depend upon reason or logic for its formation. Death is the
harbinger of regeneration or revival of life. It marks the end of one chapter
both for the living and for the dead. We have to be thankful for the lovely
years of living together, sharing the joys and challenges of life. It is
foolish to think that the dead father or mother will visit their children on
their death anniversary. The relationship was good as long it had lasted. We
should have the courage to let go of that relationship when the time to end
arrives. Who knows when and how I will come back to you. The only certainty is
neither you nor I will recognize our earlier bond when we again come together and
start afresh a new tie. This is borne by the fact that the population of the
world at no time diminishes even after a catastrophic war or any natural
calamity. The only indelible occurrence is the return of the tie that we had
lost. As Sai says, we should have
shraddha (faith) and saburi(patience)-faith in the regeneration of ties and
patience to wait for it to happen.
Death poses the greatest challenge to human beings. But let us not
think that death is the ultimate victor. No, it seems to triumph over those who
refuse to accept the cessation of bondage. It was John Donne who wrote the
famous sonnet “Death, be not Proud”.
I have italicized the key lines of this sonnet.
Death, be not proud, though some have called thee Mighty and
dreadful,
for thou art not so;
For those whom thou think'st thou
dost overthrow
……………………………………………………………………..
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
One short sleep past, we wake eternally
And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.
Let us accept
the truth that men must endure
their going hence even as their coming hither. Ripeness is
all. In
accepting this simple truth, we shall challenge death and triumph over it.
Your
own
Amma
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